anyone can enjoy indie rock when they do drugs.

True story-I was just at a Chin Up Chin Up/Appleseed Cast show where I witnessed three skin baked, Paris Hilton blondes rocking it hardcore style. The most blonde and most frequent visitor of the tanning bed sported a Kelly green t-shirt which read “Almost Single.” I’m still trying to figure out what that might mean. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with not knowing a thing about fashion. However, I can guarantee that not only will it not help her pick up a random guy, it also won’t help out her current relationship (assuming she is in one). She also had on a cute beaded necklace-maybe from the boyfriend? And enough black eyeliner that could possibly eliminate the “smoky eyes” trend and start a new trend, most likely to be called “black hole.” Her sand-washed, ripped jeans were sagged so far down, I don’t even know if she could have possibly been wearing underwear.

Moving on…she had two friends with her, both a little shorter and a little less blonde. One wearing a bright blue “Woodbury #13” t-shirt, I immediately assumed she was a star athlete, because I’m fairly sure that is what she wants “strangers” to assume. Her hair was ODing on pomade or gel of some sort-most likely to go for the “grunge”/”rocker”-although I’m almost positive she couldn’t be paid to skip a day of washing her hair. And the third, decked out in a floral scarf and an “Indian Eagles” shirt. I can’t even begin to analyze this one, the best guess I have is “I’m hip and sporty, please pay attention to me. I realize my friend who is ‘almost single’ is showing a ton of hip bone/stomach, but I guarantee she doesn’t care about my high school’s football team.”

There were a few problems tonight. First of all, it was really warm today. Warm weather tends to bring out the worst of fashion. It’s refreshing, and people want to try something new. Something they saw in some fashion magazine promoting this spring’s “look,” and they haven’t had time to realize only runway models can get away with it. It also just brings out bad fashion of all kinds, for no apparent reason at all. These girls looked like they came from the second category. The second problem is that not only did they bring down the hip vibe at the show, they really got the attention they were asking for. Let’s face it, looking at people like these three girls, is fun. The third, and biggest problem is that they were really rocking out to the music. If it had been something catchy, even dance music, maybe something hardcore, punk…I might have understood, but these girls rocking out to Appleseed Cast? I have super indie rock friends who don’t even like this band.

And these girls were loving it. But here’s the thing, they left the show frequently, they always came back-but the three of them left in a group multiple times. So I think this my conclusion, and final point-girls who are almost single don’t actually like music like Appleseed Cast. What they like, is doing coke, and after doing coke-they just need a place near a restroom to hang out. So not only can they live up to the high of the coke-by rocking out-they can keep the high up as well, by taking group field trips to the restroom, of course.