since the last time we talked...

It is has been forever. I know. Not going to offer any sort of explanation. Sometimes I write, and sometimes I have other things going on. I am going to attempt to keep this thing updated. But hey, I say I am going to go to yoga everyday, and sometimes it just doesn't happen.

London grew on me. But it grew on me because of the people. The actual city I found rather depressing, expensive, and difficult to live in. It is like a colder, more expensive, and all together worse version of New York. My British friends will hate me for saying all of that. I have never seen a country full of people who are so goddamn proud to be there. Anyway, I would rather just live in Brooklyn. I guess I don't really get the point of London. However, after leaving London, and moving to Italy - I find myself missing London - so, there you go. My favorite part of London, is how diverse it is. I feel like it is far more diverse then any city in America. The guys are also super cute. I had been seeing this super hot Rastafarian there for some time. He had 8 kids, yes 8, and our moral/political beliefs were radically different....but damn, he was hot. Everything was cool - until about a month ago. I went to London to visit/work. He told me I couldn't speak unless I was spoken to - as I was a "woman." Preached to me about how he was a "king," and mentioned that all homosexuals should be "beheaded." That was basically it. He then dropped me off in the middle of Manor House late on Easter night. I had no idea where I was, and found out the next day that some chick was stabbed to death right where he dropped me off - twenty minutes after I got out of his car. It is really too bad, because as I said - he is REALLY good looking.

So. Yeah. I went back to Brooklyn for a little less then a month. Had the most depressing Christmas of all time. Admittedly, I don't put much weight into holidays, and haven't in the last six or so years. I like going to the diner by myself on Easter or Thanksgiving, sleeping in on 4th of July. It IS depressing, but depressing in the way that is kind of good, and always good for a story. I kind of always wanted to have that one Christmas where I am totally alone, ordering Chinese food, smoking cigarettes...but this Christmas wasn't exactly like that. Christmas Eve wasn't fun at all. It is NYC. So there are tons of people like me, who are orphaned on Christmas. And they all spend it one way. On the lower east side, drinking whiskey. I wasn't really in the mood and found myself home alone downloading The Wire by 9 PM. I was stuck in a huge, empty warehouse with a dog that surprisingly had worms (tons and tons of worms). The heat wasn't exactly working (meaning, not working at all), and it was damn cold. The snow was so bad, I was literally stuck inside the apartment. The one time I did manage to get out - I left my keys behind, and found myself locked out...trying to break into my studio through a window (nailed shut window), and a new lock system that I wasn't accustomed to. Luckily, a super cute guy came to my rescue around 5 PM on Christmas Day, and my evening was quite all right.

Anyway. A couple weeks later I was signed to an agency in Milan, and on a flight out of JFK. It was a depressing day as it was cold and raining. I left myself about 15 minutes to pack. Said goodbye to the cute guy, and the few friends I hadn't completely hid from in my short time back to America, all to get stuck on the runway for 4 hours, and then stuck in the Brussels airport for over a day. I did finally make it to Milan, only to find out I was sharing a room with a 15 year old, and an apartment full of girls who *hated* Americans. The 15 year old turned out to be smart, and we became friends quickly. But that doesn't mean I haven't had my fair share of crazy model roommates. Of course, when it comes down to it - I would rather deal with the bitchy, crazy chick - then someone who is just an idiot, someone who doesn't know anything. We had a girl who as of mid-February, had never heard of Haiti. In fact, she thought "Haiti" was a person. That same girl was mesmerized by grilled cheese, as she had no idea how one could make cheese melt (when I told her I cooked it in a pan, she thought the pan was "magic" - couldn't connect the use of the stove). We had another girl who blamed every misfortune in her life on me (i.e., the hot water issue in the apartment). She told another girl in the apartment she hated Americans as, they are all so stupid. I mean, they all think Brazil is in Africa. I celebrated for a week after she moved out. The apartment housed some super unstable chicks. Crazy fights with boyfriends, girls who get wasted every night...oh yeah, thieves. We have had girls who steal money and groceries. And most recently, a girl who told my agency I have been "vomiting" after all my meals (for those of you who don't me, yes, I eat, and I haven't thrown anything up since I quit drinking).

Of course, with all that craziness - goodness is also around. I have two roommates who I love dearly, and who have been around since day one. We help each other stay sane and focused, and everything is always at least good for a laugh. But models are models, and no matter how much I like the chick - I find myself caught in WAY too many conversations about shoes, designers, and of course, models. I keep telling myself that this is better then hearing about the latest O.D. case in Brooklyn, and that it is of course, always good for a story. Been writing a lot on my own, for personal projects, and let me tell you - the stories never stop.

Milan has treated me well. I have been able to work a bit around Europe, which I have always wanted to do. However, cities are all starting to look relatively the same. I mean, whether I am in Germany, France, England, or Italy - parks are doused with syringes, homeless people need change, models are getting lost on their way to castings, Egyptians are making perverse remarks when I walk by them...and it is all relatively the same. Of course, the architecture is sometimes different, and sometimes better or worse to look at then the previous place. And as much as everyone puts down Milan - besides for the MAJOR lack in date-worthy guys, I really like it here. It is disorganized, a bit manic, and totally crazy...but underneath all the confusion, all the gray...it is also quite charming. As far as work goes, it has been my best market. My agency seems to get me, as do the clients. Health wise, I am healthier here then I have been in any Western city. So that has to say something.

Public transportation in Milan is a joke. I walk as much as possible. I can't find the patience to wait and then sit on the tram*, yes TRAM (!!!), and considering there are only three metro lines - the metro isn't all that helpful. In fact, last week I was getting on the metro around 945 AM. As I was waiting for the train to arrive, I caught a glimpse of three junkies banging it up on the train platform, ON THE TRAIN PLATFORM. Never seen anything like it. On my way back from the appointment, maybe around 11 AM, I got off at the same stop and witnessed a guy (did he HAVE to be black, I mean, come on) who attacked a metro employee with a knife, and basically cut off his nose. Milan is crazy. I NEVER see police. The complete opposite of NYC and London. It is impossible to get arrested here. Cops are paid off, when they do make an appearance, and everyone in this city has the potential to be a criminal.

It is raining today. There is a carnival on my street. I wanted cotton candy, and my roommate wanted sour candy. We walked through the rain looking, and only found stands selling cheese and sausage. Welcome to Milan. Anyway. That is all I am going to write for now. More specific updates soon, but thought I would get the "since the last time we talked" update out of the way.

*The trams in San Francisco were actually shipped from Milan years ago. Milan still uses the same trams, and I don't think San Francisco has updated their system, either.