American, again.

O.K., so I should probably blog more.

The last time you heard from me I was in London. Since then, I have been to Iowa three times, visited family in Portland, Oregon, flew to Tulum, Mexico for work, and officially moved back to Brooklyn.

Coming back to America was totally crazy. I'm still questioning the move on a semi-regular basis. I'm not sure if this is where I want to be. But there is something about NYC that just grabs you in and doesn't let you go, taunts you with being the 'best' and always makes you think about it when you are away...NYC is essentially that one person we have all fallen in love with who we can't really get over, the one we have to avoid at all costs if we want to officially move on.

Anyway, I got fed up in London. That is essentially what happened. I was tired of working, I was tired of fashion, I was tired of moving, and I needed a break. I hadn't had time off in quite some time. So I went back home to Iowa for some hot meals, full nights sleep, and long hot showers. Iowa was awesome. It was the first time I was truly happy to be back in that place. I flew to Portland, Oregon for a couple reasons. I have a super rad aunt and uncle out there who have a super cute kid I had never met. I also had a super cute boy I missed a lot stopping in Portland for a night on a tour. Seeing family was rad, seeing the boy was perfect. It's weird taking off for long periods of time. I hadn't seen these family members in years, and I hadn't seen this guy in seven months. You kind of keep thinking "am I remembering how I feel about these people?", "what if we don't even get along?", "what if I'm not who they remember me as?" It's nerve-racking. But everything about this trip was perfect. That is, until I got to Brooklyn.

Brooklyn has been full of ups and downs, and mostly just isolating. I seem to have lost interest in most of my 'previous' life here, and find myself blatantly not looking at my phone or meeting up with friends. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life, because I can't sit here in Brooklyn just planning to figure it out for too much longer. But here I am. My first few hours in Brooklyn were pretty crazy. Two things stuck out to me - damn, was it loud! And the people -- people are just so rude in Brooklyn, it's laughable. I found an apartment. I'm taking it day by day.

And then there was Tulum. Mexico was amazing and the definition of everything missing in my life. Being on a beach, in the sun, eating fresh food - that whole lifestyle is what I want, I just don't know how to do it.

I have a feeling everything is going to work out if I can keep it together logically. But I sure do miss Asia.

Anyway, more updates soon that are not so bland and general.